


my heart is the b-side to my tongue

by majesdane



Category: Degrassi RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-13
Updated: 2007-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-08 01:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/437830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It feels like it takes forever to shoot the scene.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	my heart is the b-side to my tongue

Deanna's nervous.

Okay, well, that's a lie, because _she's_ really not the one who's nervous - Alex is. But Deanna knows how apprehensive Alex is, and she can't help but feel the same way, standing in the bathroom and checking her reflection in the mirror, feeling more than a little overexposed in her current costume, even though it's a lot less revealing than the bathing suit she wore to the pool last summer. She takes a shaky breath, trying to steady herself. Okay, no big deal, right? All she has to do is play her part and then wait for the 'cut', and then she'll be good.

Lauren's standing on the other side of the set when Deanna comes in. The blond shoots her a look, one that Deanna can't decipher, and she feels uncomfortable. She doesn't go to Lauren; she doesn't want to talk to her.

It feels like it takes forever to shoot the scene of her walking back in from the stage, clothes pressed against her chest, feeling ready to throw up. They only do three takes, but Deanna's sick of the scene after only the first time through. She hates seeing Lauren look all sad and hurt, even if she knows it's all just part of the script. Because, dammit, all she wants to do is give the girl a damn _hug_ , she looks so pathetic, only she can't, because she's not supposed to, and for more reasons than it not being in the script.

\- - - - -

Lauren sits across the table from her, poised for the next scene. She gives Deanna an earnest smile, but Deanna looks away. They're already both in character, and it's almost a bit terrifying, how real it feels. She doesn't think that she should really feel so awful inside while shooting, but there's something inside of her that just won't let her feel good.

The blond mouths 'good luck', and grins again, because she knows she's not really breaking the unspoken code between them, where she and Deanna don't speak because Alex is mad at Paige or Paige is being dumb or something like that. Deanna manages a weak smile in return, but her heart's not in it at all.

"I'll forgive you," Lauren suddenly says, and Deanna only now seems to realize that they've started filming, and she's amazed she's remembered her lines so far.

"Paige, I have a job, okay?" She says, and all she wants to do is tell Alex to just shut _up_ , since this approach is not going to work, and there's really no sense in arguing with Paige. But Alex plunges in headlong, refusing to stop, refusing to admit that maybe Paige is right, just this one time.

She can see the pained expression on Lauren's face, a combination between sadness, anger, and something else, something deeper. It makes her uncomfortable, and she slides down lower in her seat, wanting this just to end.

And then Alex is an idiot and says that she and Paige have no future and Paige bursts out with another one of her 'I can't's and storms out.

Deanna doesn't watch Lauren go, knowing she'll see tears in the blond's eyes, and Alex crying too is not in the script.

She feels like she's going to throw up.

\- - - - -

The next morning, Deanna appears at Lauren's dressing room door.

"Knock, knock," Deanna calls out softly, and Lauren and Stacey look up from the magazine they'd been reading together.

"Hey," Lauren says with a smile, handing the magazine over to Stacey. "Shouldn't you be, you know, out avoiding me or not talking to me?"

Deanna says, poking Lauren playfully, "Have you even _read_ the script, dork? It's a happy ending this time."

Lauren bites her lip prettily. "I know. And I'm glad. It's about time. It's been a long time coming."

"Admit it, you're just glad you'll be able to talk to me again," Deanna teases, laughing. "No more of Aubrey coming up to me and saying, 'Adamo told me that Stacey told him that Lauren told her to ask you if you're doing anything on Saturday afternoon.' Even though we'll probably end up doing that next season, with our luck."

"Yeah, probably," Lauren agrees, and even though she's smiling, she sounds a bit sad, although that could just be Deanna imagining it, since she's had about four cups of coffee from Starbucks the morning, and she's feeling pretty wired.

\- - - - -

"Sweetie, you have _me_ ," Paige says, in Lauren's body, and Deanna's heart swells. She's happy and Alex is happy and she _knows_ that Lauren is happy too, because the blond is giving her that disarming, enchanting smile of hers. It's almost enough to make her swoon.

Lauren grabs her hand and leads her out onto the dance floor, and Deanna is feeling ridiculously happy, though she's not quite sure why that is exactly. And then Lauren grabs Deanna and hugs her, body all warm and soft against her own, and Deanna feels her breath catch in her throat tellingly.

Lauren whispers in her ear, while they're embracing and the camera pans away, "I'm glad we finally got a happy ending, aren't you?"

Deanna just hugs her tighter.


End file.
